Friday, 22 February 2008

Ok, joined up on Faceparty again, after a long break (because it's a soulless cattle market) and already the spam's started. Read this message for an example....

"Hi my new friend. My name is Kristina. I am 27 years old. Let me introduce myself... I like warm and tender sea. My room is like a green garden. On mornings I lay in bed and like to dream. I think I am sentimental and I like to cry on a romantic drama, but sometimes love to laugh a lot and hardly sarcastic. When I play with children I feel like a child. I suppose I am a sufficient house-keeper. From time to time I just take cooking book or recipes of my mum and prepare something especial. I can't stand disorder in the house, and if I notice anything that seems to be in the wrong place. I am a creative by nature and capable on Self-feedback, it depends on the situation. I hope that I have made a good impression on you, and you can not pass such a girl as me. So I hope that we both can find common things. Well what? Let's check up. Write me on my email kristinachkaa@gmail.com and i sent my picture to you in my reply to you. Hope to hear from you soon, Kristina."

Apparently, she's like a warm and tender sea. What? Stinks of salt and fish? And if her room's like a green garden, she really needs to get around to washing the sheets, even if it's on an irregular basis. Even more sinister..."When I play with children I feel like a child"....now, statements like that over here are likely to earn you 8 years and several serious beatings, luv! And "recipes of my mum"....do I ask for a tender piece of breast or a big 'ol serving of Old Lady Buttock?!

Rule One on the World Wide Weird: If you're going to scam, don't pick random words out of the dictionary; learn the lingo and put the effort in. If there's anything that sticks in the throat worse than a scammer, it's one that can't even be arsed to put the effort in.

Rule Two: Get someone well versed in English to read the final result before you post it. If said person informs you that you sound like a raggedy nailed forthy lunatic, take note.

1 comment:

highway to hell said...

hi matey,I totally agree with you on this one! If your gonna post something like that at least think about what your writing instead like some form of a robot picking random words out of a dictionry! Remember what I said about you meeting new "friends" this way? Your much better just going out with Wayne in Skeg Vegas! ( well kind of!) LOL, Kerry x